As I prepare to move from the city to the country (again), I center in a manifestation process.
All manifestations begin with a desire- but not all desires are created equal. Desires aligned with our most authentic selves flow more freely into our lives than desires produced by what external systems have programmed us to believe we should want or deserve. Inauthentic desires often come at a high cost physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I know this to be true.
I am deeply engaged in the work of unearthing my desires from my most authentic self. From this place, I can more easily manifest. I work to de-program any old beliefs that might keep me blocked from feeling completely worthy of what I truly desire.
As I call in this space, I give form to my dreams through visions, prayers, sketches, and lists. I see vignettes of what I want my days with the land to feel like. I expand to feel how I want to share this space- to invite others to return to deeper truths within themselves. I see a large barn that becomes a studio. I see rooms for artists to stay in. I see all people as artists.
In a vision, I see my highest future self sweeping the studio floor.
In another vision, I see myself at age 9 under a large oak tree.
The last time I moved from the city the country, I was still closeted and codependent. I spent hours walking alone in the woods and they offered a message both terrifying and gentle. They told me this life I’d fought so hard for wasn’t at all mine. That’d I’d done a whole bunch of work in the wrong direction. That locating my purpose and belonging isn’t an uphill battle. That I’d been blocking myself from the pleasure, potential, and purpose that is divinely mine for the embodying.
The last time I moved from the city the country, my inauthentic self collapsed.
Today, I prepare to return to the land after having listened. I stepped into that deep unknown and found a way back to myself. I return to the land a Mother, after having been a Maiden. I return to the land fertile with something I can not yet describe, but I can feel flowing towards us all in time.
It is summer air in the kitchen after a day spent playing in the river. It is people gathering to exchange ideas. It is people remembering who they are.
I have no doubt that new lessons await me in the landscape. I am ready to hear them.
ANNOUNCEMENT
Hey!
Starting now, w/in space will be shifting from a weekly offering to a twice-monthly-or-so offering. This change will allow me to create more thoughtful reflections and to experiment with creative collaborations in this container.
As always- thank you for being here,
Ash
on loop
September Fields by Frazey Ford